Note: All content in this manual is spoken by Cranky Kong.
Cranky: "So let's see what nonsense they've made up for this game, shall we? Hmm... well, I have to hand it to them. This time they've managed to come up with a decent storyline that doesn't involve the usual golden bananas. Only joking kids! This one's worse than all the previous efforts put together! I know you probably aren't expecting a best seller, but wait till you hear this load of rubbish..."
"Left!" rasped a voice to his left.
"Right!" came back the immediate response from the other side.
It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now the Klaptrap turning the wheel wasn't so sure. His little legs were getting tired, and those two incompetent fools didn't have a clue where they were going.
With a sudden sickening crunch of metal against rock, the King's pride and joy came to a shuddering halt, knocking all three off their feet. The tough little Klaptrap was up first, dashing eagerly across to the broken bridge window to see what those goons had hit.
"You two are going to be in sooo much trouble!" he barked gleefully.
But that pair weren't the only ones in trouble. Deep within the gloomy bowels of his latest creation, a furious King K. Rool sat on his throne, glaring down at the quaking generals of his vast Kremling army.
"Well? I'm still waiting for an answer..."
His plan couldn't fail this time, or so he had thought. But like so many times in the past, he'd underestimated just how useless his scaly minions could be. It had taken years to build, but now his mighty island stronghold lay immobile off the coast of its very first target--Kong Isle. Perhaps all was not lost, though...
"Power up the Blast-o-Matic. Target is Kong Isle. Fire when ready!"
Instead of a deafening explosion, there came only a pathetic whimper.
"I'm so v-very sorry your m-majesty, but I'm afraid the Blast-o-Matic isn't quite w-working yet..."
K. Rool turned to face the white-coated technician responsible for the bad news. The King began to cry.
"It's just no fair..." he sobbed. "I really thought I was going to win this time."
Klump waddled over and put a consoling arm around his distraught leader.
"Don't get all upset now, your excellency. We'll go and capture those nasty Kongs for you. Then we'll steal their Golden Bananas as usual so that if any Kongs escape us, they'll be too busy looking for them to come and ruin your magnificent plans."
As King K. Rool watched his generals leave, he wiped away his crocodile tears and began to laugh. His little play acting had worked, and now those Kongs would soon be history. He glared down at his bemused technician.
"Well, what are you waiting for? Get the Blast-o-Matic working. I've got an island to destroy."
Starting the GameEdit
Now then, just drop your quarter into the slot and... er, sorry, wrong game. After pressing START, you will be presented with the Selection Page. Use the Control Stick to select between the five icons and press the A Button to select one.
This allows you to begin a new game or continue one in progress. The Game Slot Selection Screen has three game slots and an erase option. Choose a slot by pressing the A Button, and the status of that game will appear. Press the A Button once more to begin the game.
You can select the screen size and activate the story skip from here. Use left and right on the Control Stick to move between the options and up and down to change their status.
This icon will be unavailable until you rescue at least one banana fairy. The features in here will have to be earned as you progress through the game. Use left and right on the Control Stick to move between the groups and up and down to choose one of the various options within the groups.
Abother icon that only appears once the first Kong is rescued. Other features become available as you progress through the game. Use left and right on the Control Stick to move between the groups and up and down to choose one of the various options within the groups.
This enables you to customize the audio settings. Use left and right on the Control Stick to move between the options and up and down to change their status.
Kongs You PlayEdit
We've had Donkey, Diddy, Dixie and Kiddy in the past. I wonder if any of those has-beens have got the guts to risk their flea-bitten necks again for a new advanture. Let's have a look-see who's in this one then, eh?
About time that lazy good-for-nothing went adventuring again. He's the leader of this mangy bunch and tells me that he has learned a whole new bunch of "mean, reptile-stomping" moves. I doubt whether they will be any better than his old ones, but we shall see, shan't we?
Donkey's little nephew wannabe. He's quick, nimble and courageous but still a bit of a lightweight when compared to my fine physique. He's also got this new-fangled thing he calls a Jetbarrel, but it sounds like nothing more than a lot of hot air to me.
I thought this was Dixie Kong until she told me that she is Dixie's younger sister. Bah, kids these days all look alike! You'll probably recognize Dixie's trademark hair spin technique, but Tiny can also shrink in size--although I reckon that one's nothing more than a marketing gimmick and won't even be in the game!
A newcomer to the Kong clan and the joker of the pack. I haven't a clue whom he's related to--must be some distant cousin or something. Those silly stretchy arms give him plenty of potential, but I'm sure he'll be too busy clowning around to be of much use.
Let me guess, this one's the bug guy? Sheesh, I don't know how they come up with these names. Anyway, he's Kiddy's older brother and lists crushing, smashing and pounding Kremlings as his hobbies. Hey, perhaps there is a glimmer of hope for these bums after all. I bet he's really slow though.
You'll find the services of these unsung heroes invaluable as you trudge through your third-rate quest. I'd now like to introduce you to the most important character in the game, as well as my trusty assistants who have minor roles, too. Just remember that we rightfully expect our expertise to be rewarded, so do collect a good haul of Banana Bunch Coins before you even think about disturbing me, won't you?
Professor Cranky KongEdit
Yep, you read it right, sonny! It's Professor Cranky now, and you'd better show your elders some respect, as I'm your only hope in defeating those rancid reptiles. My powerful potions will give you abilities you've never dreamed of and certainly don't deserve, assuming of course you can afford my modest asking fee. Now don't you go asking me for a potion of gameplay, as even my genius can't rescue this game from its rightful destiny in the bargain bin.
Lazy, rude and loud he may be, but Funky the monkey stocks the necessary firepower you're gonna need to blast your way through the collection of mediocrity known as the levels. Be warned though, as Funky's comprehensive guarantee on his products expires as soon as you leave his hut.
That darn Donkey has all the luck! His girl Candy waits around in her hut, always willing to offer her musical help to that undeserving son of mine and his fancy polygonal friends. Pah!
She may not be quite the same as you remember her from past adventures, but my good-natured wife will again be around to help you if you get stuck... which I'm sure you will.
King K. RoolEdit
While K. Rool may have ditched his ridiculous disguises, his intentions are as evil as ever. Fortunately, a combination of his own incompetence and useless minions have allowed us to defeat him in the past. But the future of Kong Isle rests in the ability of Donkey and his new buddies to prevent the croc's latest effort. I could defeat him single-handedly of course, but then you wouldn't have a game to play would you?
A mysterious weasel defector who bears a grudge against the Kremlings. I can't be bothered to tell you any more, so you'll have to ask him what he's doing in this game when you meet him.
Troff n' ScoffEdit
Troff's a pig, Scoff's a hippo, and both are big, slow and useless. They sit in their nice, cozy room and wait to be fed enough bananas to satisfy their alarming appetites. Once fed, they're supposed to help you. But a novice player like you won't be able to collect enough food, so I'd be wasting my precious breath if I told you what they did.
He's bigger, slower, and even more useless. No, it's not Chunky, but a hulking, good-natured Kremling whom K. Rool has imprisoned for his lack of reptilian ruthlessness. I reckon all it will take is a bit of the famous Kong charm to win K. Lumsy over and get him to lend a considerably-size hand in thwarting his master's plans.
Who's this?!? I didn't see any fairy when I looked around. She... er, must be a secret character of something. Yep, I remember now, a secret character. With bananas. Obviously, I... um, know where she is, but if I told you, it wouldn't be a challenge to find her, would it? So although I know everything about this... er, secret fairy banana character, I'm not saying anything. Let's move on shall we?
Cranky: "Arrgh! What is that thing? Which way do I hold it? There are too many buttons... and this wobbly stick-thing feels like it's broken! I can't believe players use this silly controller contraption to play games! A good solid joystick and one button is all I'd need!"
- Start: Brings up the Pause Menu and Status screens
- Z Button: Makes the Kongs crouch. Use the Control Stick to rotate while crouching.
- Control Stick: Lets the Kongs run, walk or tiptoe, depending on how much pressure is applied.
- B Button: Lets the Kongs use their attacks.
- A Button: Makes the Kongs jump. Hold the A Button longer to make them jump higher.
- C Buttons:
- C: Rotates the camera angle.
- C-Up and C-Down: Changes the level of camera zoom. Press the C-Up Button once to view the action through the Kong's eyes, rotating the Controls Stick to look around. Press the C-Up Buttons again to return to the standard view. The C-Down Button Toggles between the other two available levels of outside zoom.
- R Button: Press once to center the camera behind the Kongs. Keep the R Button pressed to lock the camera into this position until released.
Pause Menu and Status ScreensEdit
I knew they'd have to have something like this. The Kongs will be so weighed down with all the garbage they have to collect, I can't see them getting past the second level. You can view all this silly nonsense and some other stuff I don't understand by pressing START during your game.
Depending on where you are and how far into the adventure you have progressed, the options available on the Pause Menu will differ.
- Return: Leaves the menu and continues the game in progress.
- Save: Saves the game into the current game slot.
- Quit Game: Saves and exits the game in progress.
- Exit Level: Exits the current level and returns the Kong to the level lobby.
- Restart: Allows you to restart any of the sub-games and bonus features while they are in progress.
- Exit To Level: Exits the current sub-game or bonus feature in progress and returns the Kong to the level.
- Status Screens: Once you have found the first Golden Banana, the Status Pages will be activated. These will record your progress, and you can scroll through them using the Z and R Buttons.
The Kongs can climb trees, ladders, poles and plenty of other things simply by jumping on them and using the Control Stick to clamber up or down. Pressing the A Button allows them to release their grip and jump off at any time.
Normal Control Stick movement automatically switches to surface swimming when the Kongs enter a deep enough pool of water. You can increase their surface swimming speed by holding the B Button or dive underwater by pressing the Z Button.
There are two speeds of underwater swimming: holding the B Button causes the Kongs to drift along slowly, while holding the A Button makes for much quicker progres. Pressing the Z Button while swimming acts as a water brake.
Pick up some speed, then press the B Button.
Press the A Button to jump, then the B Button while in mid-air.
Hold the Z Button to crouch, then press the A Button to jump. Use the Control Stick to steer in mid-air
Pick up some speed, then press the Z Button, immediately followed by the A Button.
Cranky's Special AbilitiesEdit
Cranky: "Ah, this is where I come in. Let's face it, the Kong's basic abilities are only a pale shadow of my former skills. In order to give them a chance to progress, I will generously let you buy a few of my special potions from time to time in order to make those kids a little less embarrassingly useless. Some abilties can be used anywhere, but others require the use of my pads or barrels with the face of the appropriate character on them."
- Simian Slam - Press the A Button to jump, then press the Z button while in the air.
- Super Simian Slam - Press the A Button to jump, then press the Z button while in the air.
- Super Duper Simian Slam - Press the A Button to jump, then press the Z button while in the air.
Cranky's Special Offer!Edit
Since I figure your gonna need all the help you can get, I've decided that only one Kong needs to pay for each of my slam moves. Once one of the ragged bunch has bought it, the other bums get it for free! Of course, this offer doesn't apply to my premium selection of abilities listed below--each Kong will have to pay in full to get their hairy hands on those miracle potions.
- Baboon Blast - Press the Z Button when standing on a Donkey pad.
- Gorilla Grab - Press the B Button when standing next to a lever.
- Strong Kong - Jump into a Donkey Barrel. Press and hold the Z Button,
then press the C-Left Button to end the move. Uses Crystal Coconuts.
- Chimpy Charge - Press and hold the Z Button, the press the B Button.
- Rocketbarrel Boost - Jump into a Diddy Barrel. Press and hold the Z Button, them press the C-Left Button to end the move. Uses Crystal Coconuts.
- Simian Spring - Press the Z Button when standing on a Diddy Pad.
- Mini-Monkey - Jump into a Tiny Barrel. Press and hold the Z Button, then press the C-Left Button to end the move. Uses Crystal Coconuts.
- Pony Tail Twirl - Press the A Button to jump, then press and hold the A Button again while in the air.
- Monkeyport - Press the Z Button when standing on a Tiny Pad.
- OrangStand - Press the Z Button, then press the B Button. Continue to hold the Z Button while using the Control Stick to move around.
- Baboon Balloon - Press the Z Button when standing on a Lanky Pad. Only lasts for a limited time.
- OrangSprint - Press and hold the Z Button, then press the B Button. Continue to hold the Z Button while using the Control Stick to move around.
- Hunky Chunky - Jump into a Chunky Barrel. Uses Crystal Coconuts.
- Primate Punch - Press and hold the Z Button, then press the B Button
- Gorilla Gone - Press the Z Button when standing on a Chunky Pad to turn invisible.
When you find you're getting an inevitable whupping from K. Rool's cronies, consider equipping yourself with the finest shooters Funky can make. Each Kong's shooter fires a different object, which you will find in the Supply Crates scattered around the levels. Shooters can also be used to activate cerain switches and features, so I'm told.
If you play well enough to get one--which I very much doubt--press and hold the Z Button, then press the C-Left Button to bring out the shooter. Use the B Button to shoot. Press the C-Up Button to go into first-person view, where an aiming sight appears. Use the Control Stick while in this view to move the aiming sight around. Press and hold the Z Button, then press the C-Left Button to put the shooter away again. If you press and hold the Z Button, then double-tap the C-Left Button in quick succession, the Kongs will fetch out their shooters and go into first-person view aiming mode all in one move. You can put the shooter away and return to the normal view by holding the Z Button and double-tapping the C-Right Button. Crafty, huh?
Funky stocks the following shooters, all of which can hopefully be upgraded, if you can get that far into the game without falling asleep.
- Donkey Kong - Coconut Cannon
- Diddy Kong - Peanut Popguns
- Tiny Kong - Feather Bow
- Lanky Kong - Grape Pipe
- Chunky Kong - Pineapple Launcher
Funky's Special Offer!Edit
Pah! He's just copying my idea now. Once you have your shooter, you should start saving for Funky's upgrades. If one Kong pays for any of the upgrades, the others get it for free. Hrmph, he's making this game far too easy if you ask me.
Candy's Musical InstrumentsEdit
You'd never see me playing silly musical instruments, oh no! All the bad guys understood in my day was a nice heavy barrel on the top of their heads. Bah, times change unfortunately, so I suppose it's a good idea to seek out Candy's help, as her instruments send out Kremling-flattening sound waves when played. She also tells me that if you play the correct instrument while standing on one of her Music Pads, it can cause all sorts of amazing things to happen. Pah! This all sounds like poppycock to me, and I suspect these things are a complete waste of time.
If by some miracle they do actually have a use, you can press and hold the Z Button, then press the C-Up Button to play the instrument.
Candy might teach you how to play the following musical smart bomb pieces:
- Donkey Kong - Bongo Blast
- Diddy Kong - Guitar Gazump
- Tiny Kong - Saxophone Slam
- Lanky Kong - Trombone Tremor
- Chunky Kong - Triangle Trample
Candy's Special Offer!Edit
Aw no, she's at it too! Has she no shame? Once you have your instrument, Candy can offer you a few musical upgrades and some much needed help with your pitiful energy levels. If one Kong pays for any of her services, the other freeloadeers get it for nothing. I'm afraid there's no hope for you if you can't finish this game now.
Banana Fairy's CameraEdit
Oh, it's that secret banana fairy again. She's got a camera? Um... of course, how could I forget! She's got a camera which she takes pictures with, no... er, that you take pictures with. Yep, you can take pictures of things. Secret fairy-type things. Take some pictures, and she'll give you more secret stuff...
You can operate the camera by pressing and holding the... er, Z Button, then pressing the Cv Button to fetch it out and go into... uh, camera-view mode. Use the Control Stick to point the camera in the desired direction, then press... um, the B Button to take a picture. Yep, that's right.
Trinkets and baubles, every last one! You'll be so busy collecting this tatty lot, you'll not notice the lack of gameplay. I never had to collect anything in my day, no siree, and my games were all the better for it!
The most precious item in the game, apart from me, of course. You'll need plenty of these to progress through the levels. If you find more than ten, I'll be surprised.
Come in five different colors that each Kong must collect to feed to the greedy Troff n' Scoff. Donky should be looking for yellow ones, Diddy red, Tiny purple, Lanky blue and green for Chunky.
Banana Bunch CoinsEdit
Also found in the same five colors as the bananas and can be collected by the appropriate Kong. These are used to pay for the various invaluable services that Funky, Candy and especially I, have to offer.
These contain the items that the Kongs can shoot from their various silly shooters.
Bouncing oranges have explosive properties that can defeat even the toughest of Kremlings. Hrmph, that's not fair! Where were my oranges all those years ago? You kids have got it far too easy these days.
These mystical items have magical powers that enable the lucky Kongs to perform a variety of my amazing special abilities.
Banana Camera FilmEdit
Collect these and photograph the missing banana fairies to get the... er, secret stuff I told you about earlier.
These contain several slices of melon to replenish your energy. I'm sure you'll be needing every last one of them, too.
Color coded like the bananas and coins, there are five of these on each level, always in the possession of a sturdy Kremling. Recover the blueprints if you can, then take them to that shifty Snide to earn your reward.
Special? Hah! I'd sure like to know what makes these any better than the others; they look just as useless to me. Probably because they're slightly larger and a little shinier, I suppose.
Collect 75 out of 100 of any Kong's bananas on each world to earn a medal. I'll be needing a good armful of these later in the game, so you'd better start collecting 'em right now, sonny!
Battle Arena CrownsEdit
Unlikely it may sound, but if you survive the onslaught of the Kremling hordes in one of their Battle Arenas, you'll win a prized crown. Sorry, but I've forgotten what they do...
Collect these hard-to-find fairies by photographing them with the magical banana camera. The more you get, the better the reward, although I'm not guaranteeing you'll get anything.
Beat a boss, and your are awarded a key, simple as that. I know what the keys are for, but do you?
Rareware & Nintendo CoinsEdit
Hidden deep withing the game, these two valuable coins will test the rusty gaming skills you thought you'd never have to use again...
Scroll of GameplayEdit
You can look high and low, but I'm afraid you won't find one of these much-needed items in this game!
Sheesh, you must be a real lame player if you're still reading this booklet. You obviously need all the help you can get. No one can accuse old Cranky of being unhelpful though, so I'll reluctantly let you know about these other features that you might find on the levels. See how lucky you are?
Shimmering gateways that transport you between the level lobbies and the levels themselves.
Also found in the level lobbies, the information concealed behind these should be used as a last resort only. (Or as a first resort if you are a really poor player.)
You'll find these all over the place, but some require a more hefty whack than others. The best switch is the one on top of your N64, as you can turn off your silly 3-D adventure and let me get some sleep.
Stand near these, and your musical smart bombs will be replenished.
Battle Arena PadEdit
You'll find one of these on each level if you're lucky. Stand on it and press the Z Button to be transported to the Kremlings' Battle Arena--a place where arguments are traditionally settled and Kongs get a good thumping. Survive the extremely one-sided battle to win a coveted Battle Crown and the grudging respect of the reptiles.
Cranky's Kong BarrelsEdit
I made these barrels myself, you know. Jump in one to activate another impressive selection of my special abilities.
Cranky's Kong PadsEdit
These are very important, so listen up. Stand on one, press the Z Button and be prepared to gasp in awe when one of my special abilities is activated.
You can use these to swap between Kongs when on a level. Once a Kong as been rescued, his or her face will appear on all the Tag Barrels. Jump inside to make your selection from the mangy monkeys available. Players less skilled than myself (i.e., all of you) will also be relieved to find that your energy is replenished during a visit to these berrels, too.
Once active, these allow the Kongs to travel quickly between previously-visited areas. Find and stand on two pads with the same number to form a link. Then press the Z Button while standing on one pad to be bananaported to the other. Let me know if you find a bananaport that can take me out of this sorry game, and I'll be there in a flash.
Jump in these to be transformed into an animal buddy. I just hope they've included poor old Winky and Expresso this time istead of that bone-brained rhino that always seems to get in the games.
Troff n' Scoff PortalsEdit
There are several of these on a level, but all of them lead directly to Troff n' Scoff's room. Exiting the room will put you back on the level through the same portal that was originally entered.
Cranky: "It's true, I'm afraid. They've gone and included one of those awful multiplayer modes that seem to be all the fashion these days. This means you and some other whippersnappers can huddle round your flickering screen and play a few games that I reckon were thrown in at the last minute and will be average at best. I sure hope I'm in some of them though--I'd just love to whup some of these young wannabes' behinds!"
There are two types of multiplayer games available: the larger tactival arenas of Monkey Smash and the single-screen mayhem of Battle Arena. Use up and down on the Control Stick to select between the different arenas in Monkey Smash. Press and A Button to go to the Character Selection Screen for both games.
Character Selection ScreenEdit
Press START to enter the competition. Use left and right on the Control Stick to select the desired Kong and up and down to change their colors. Press the C-Up Button to select the Game Type. Use left and right on the Control Stick to select the game type and up and down to choose the rules. Press the C-Down Button to return to the Character Selection Screen, then press the A Button to begin the game when all the players are ready.
Monkey Smash Game TypesEdit
- Survival - Last player standing is the winner.
- Coin Hoard - The player with the most coins at the end of the time limit is the winner.
- Wins - The first player to reach a target number of monkey smashes wins.
- Time - The player with the most monkey smashes at the end of the time limit wins.
- Capture - The player holding the DK coin at the end of the time limit is the winner.
- Capture Pad - Try to activate the pads while holding the DK coin. The first player to activate all the pads wins.
Battle Arena Game TypesEdit
- Wins - The first player to score the required amount of ring outs is the winner.
- Coin Hoard - The player with the most coins at the end of the time limit is the winner.
- Survival - The player who survives the longest wins.
- Capture - The player holding the DK coin at the end of the time limit is the winner.
- Time - The player with the most ring outs at the end of the itme limit wins.
A selection of items will appear at random during the Battle Arena games. These can be collected and have varying results, but not all of them are good!
Cranky: "Now where did they put the level I designed? Hmm... I can't seem to find it. It was called the "Great Girder Grapple" as I remember. Oooh, I must have spent at least 3 minutes working on it. I even drew them a fancy little picture. Bah! It must have been too good for them. The kids would have refused to play their fancy 3-D levels once they'd gotten a taste of my 2-D girder action! Don't give up hope though; they might have hidden it somewhere like a priceless gem, hoping that no one will ever find it..."
The once idyllic Kong Isle now has an unpleasant neighbor in the form of K. Rool's massive mechanical Crocodile Isle. This monstrosity towers over our homeland, with the ridiculously-named Blast-o-Matic device ready to reduce it to rubble. Between them, these two contrasting islands conceal the entrances to all the levels.
The first level for you to monkey around in. Its humid tunnels and lush open areas are home to the shuffling Gnawty beavers with whom even a second-rate player like you should have no problem. Drop in to see Funky--and more importantly me--to buy your first desperately-needed new abilities. The imprisoned Diddy Kong should be your first objective, as the careless chimp takes you on a real wild ride!
I hate the scorching heat and frequent sand storms of this level. Stir in a bunch of patrolling Kritters and vicious Klaptraps, and it makes me glad that I don't need to leave my cozy lab. An ancient civilization built many mysterious temples here, which now make more-that-suitable prisons for that fool Lanky and Dixie... er, I mean Tiny Kong. Seek out the help of Candy Kong for the first time, and don't forget me, of course!
K. Rool's pride and joy--a grimy, noisy and extremely hazardous toy-making facility. No one wants these toys for a gift though, as they are designed to attack anything in sight! The grim surroundings are not to Chunky's liking; he'd much prefer a warm bed of banana leaves to the precariously-positioned rusty metal cage the Kremlings have prepared for him. Rescue the useless lumbering ape, then come and see your old pal Craky, won't you?
Prepare to get your flea-ridden fur wet as you dive down into the murky depths of the reptilian lagoons. You won't be the only thing down there though, as the gloomy, rotting remains of the King's once proud armada lie waiting to be explored--truly an enlightening experience. Elsewhere, you'll find a hulking structure that's a bit dim and doesn't work. Yes, I know you already know about Chunky, but this is also true of a eerie lighthouse. Let's see if you can get them both working and be of some use.
Someone sure has an over-active imagination. They say this forest contains a giant magical cuckoo clock which has the ability to change day to night and back again in a matter of moments. Hrmph, I don't believe that for a second. They can't fool this wily old ape! Wait, there's more nonsense too. A mystical tree? Pah! A sky-high mushroom you can go inside? Nope. Abandoned mills and barns? I doubt it. I reckon it should be called "Fantasy Forest," as none of this stuff actually exists!
Yep, I knew they'd have an icy-type crystal level in there somewhere. This one's a bit unstable though--very prone to dangerous falling rocks, bouncing off my lab roof and your dopey heads--only it doesn't hurt my roof! Find a way into the numerous giant igloos and creepy log cabins, but I wouldn't stray into the path of the club-wielding Koshas if I were you, which happily I'm not.
It's a castle, and it's creepy. Will that do? Mmm... apparently not. Alright, I'll try my best to make this sound exciting. Ahem, steel your nerves as you hesitantly edge around the precarious exterior, desperately trying to find a way into the fortress's foreboding walls. Once inside, the horrors of the creepy crypts, the haunted regal ballroom and the mad museum await, their hideous inhabitants eager to welcome unwanted guests. There, not bad eh? Almost makes you want to play it.
You'll find one of the hardest challenges you've faced in here. All five Kongs must work together! Yep, I know it's tough, but find enough playing skill from somewhere, and maybe you'll stuggle through to the finish. But even when you get there, it may not be the end after all...
DK's Tree HouseEdit
You'll start your fancy 3-D fun from here, where you can scamper around and try out some of your new-found basic abilities. When you've had enough, come and see me for a simple simian training session which will hopefully prepare you for the dangers ahead.
Troff n' Scoff RoomsEdit
Home to Troff the pig and his equally-hungry hippo friend Scoff. Stand on the pad in front of the doors to feed them your pitiful offerings. You can find out how many bananas each Kong has contributed by standing on the five lit pads with the Kongs' faces on them.
There's so much that's bad about this game, it's hardly necessary to have any bad guys in it at all! Nevertheless, they've taken some of the old characters and just stuck a few of those polygonal things on them. K. Rool claims he's got some new faces too, but I've yet to see any of them. I just hope they don't resort to enlarging the characters on the levels and calling them bosses this time; that giant beaver was a pretty cheap trick!
Cranky: "Tough luck kid. I've been told to keep my mouth shut, as they want to keep all the good stuff for a money-making strategy guide. I'm sure some of it will appear on the newfangled 'internet' thing as well, so I suggest you take a look-see there. You could also ask your friends, assuming of course you've got any. If all else fails, you'll just have to play better."